Why are so many kids afraid of the dentist? It’s rarely the dentist themselves. Often, the fear creeps in from something else: overheard comments, anxious parents, or the general unfamiliarity of it all.
That fear can easily be avoided. In fact, the earlier you help your child feel comfortable with dental visits, the better. No drama. No panic. Just another part of life, like getting a haircut or going to school.
So, how do you get there?
Don’t Let It Be a Big Deal
One of the easiest ways to reduce anxiety is to avoid overhyping the appointment. Don’t treat it like a major event. No big countdown. No dramatic build-up. Just mention it casually, like you would a trip to the shops.
Children respond to your tone more than your words. If you sound calm and neutral, they’re likely to take the same approach.
Say something like, “Tomorrow we’ve got a check-up to make sure your teeth are growing strong.” That’s it. No fuss.
Be Careful With Language
The words you use matter more than you think. A lot of adults, without realising it, plant fear by trying to reassure.
Saying “It won’t hurt” immediately suggests there’s a chance it might. Telling your child to “be brave” implies there’s something scary coming.
Instead, use honest, straightforward language. Describe what will happen in simple terms. Mention that the dentist will count their teeth, look with a mirror, and check everything is healthy. Keep it positive but never overpromise.
Your goal is to make the experience predictable, not exciting or intense.
Timing Is Everything
If your child is tired, hungry or overstimulated, they’ll find it harder to cope with new experiences. That includes sitting still, following directions or handling unexpected sensations.
This is why early morning appointments tend to work best. Your child is more likely to be rested, regulated, and able to manage something new without added stress.
Try not to schedule appointments after a full day of activities or too close to nap time.
Let the Dentist Lead, But Stay Close
Parents often want to explain things or give their child extra instructions during the appointment. It’s a natural instinct, but too many voices can overwhelm a child.
Dental staff are trained to speak directly to young kids in ways that are gentle, clear and calm. Step back just enough to give space for that dynamic to work. Your presence is still important. It offers security, but try to avoid doing the talking for your child.
If they turn to you, a calm nod or a quick smile goes further than rushed explanations.
And, don’t forget: the best family dentist Cannington will be trained in dealing with anxious patients, and they’ll make sure your child feels as comfortable as possible during their appointment.
Don’t Offer Bribes
Bribes and rewards can unintentionally reinforce fear. If your child hears, “If you’re good, you can have a lolly after,” they’ll assume the experience is something unpleasant they have to get through.
Even well-meaning praise like “You were so brave” can make them wonder why they needed to be brave in the first place.
Instead of tying behaviour to a treat, aim to reflect positively on how they handled it. A simple “You did well staying calm” or “I’m proud of how you listened” keeps the focus on their experience, not a reward.
What If There Are Tears?
Sometimes, despite preparation, your child might cry or resist. That doesn’t mean you failed. Many children react emotionally the first few times they’re in an unfamiliar medical setting. It’s completely normal.
The important thing is to remain calm and steady. Don’t get flustered. Don’t threaten or bargain. And definitely don’t punish them for being afraid. Their brain is still learning how to regulate fear.
One difficult visit doesn’t mean future appointments will go the same way. Often, the next one is already better simply because they’ve been through it once.
Build Confidence Between Visits
It’s not just about what you do on the day. The time between appointments plays a huge role in how your child views dental care overall. Build habits that create familiarity and confidence. These make the next check-up feel less foreign and more like a continuation of what they already know.
● Talk about teeth regularly – Keep brushing part of the daily routine, and mention why it matters without lecturing.
● Let them explore – Show them their teeth in a mirror. Let them count yours. Build curiosity around their mouth and how it works.
● Model calm behaviour – If you go to the dentist, mention it casually. No need to share bad stories or jokes about pain.
● Use play – Dentist role play with toys can help them feel more comfortable with the general idea of the visit.
● Stick to a consistent routine – The more dental care feels like a normal part of life, the less threatening it becomes.
Watch for the Shift
Once your child has had one or two calm, predictable experiences, you’ll start to notice small changes. They’ll ask fewer questions with worry behind them. They might look forward to sitting in the dentist’s chair. They may even remind you to book their next check-up.
That confidence doesn’t happen all at once. It builds slowly, in layers, with your steady support and quiet encouragement.
Some kids get there in one or two visits. Others take longer. Either is completely fine. There’s no rush. What matters most is that it’s a positive process, not something they grow to dread.
Keep It Calm, Keep It Normal
Fear around dentist visits doesn’t have to be part of your child’s story. It often stems more from how adults present the experience than the visit itself.
The more calm, neutral and consistent you are, the more likely your child is to follow your lead. Focus on making it familiar, predictable and low-pressure. Don’t turn it into a performance. Just make it part of life.
Every small step adds up to something bigger; a child who feels confident, safe, and able to handle new experiences without fear. That’s something worth building.